lvrebelman's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Rollercoaster Weekend lol, On Friday, I had what can be best described as a "mini nervous breakdown". I just fucking lost it, and broke down crying in a semi-public setting. At the very least, I've been able to contain my urges to sob to my apartment, but like I just said, I lost control. A couple of people I work with found me and made me go to see a counselor. That helped quite a bit, actually. I just needed a thrid-party to talk to once. To make a long-story short, on Thursday I learned my dad's gambling problem has gotten worse. This combined with my previously manageable other problems was just too much to handle. While I can function well with my own personal problems and my moms situation, I have a limit. I spent most of Friday and Saturday well, less than happy. I said a few things I shouldn't have, etc. Fortunately one of my friends invited me over to her place, and had some dinner and Captain Morgan. I had a bit too much and was knocked out soon after. It's hard to see sometimes that the best thing to do is to just be around your friends, not even to talk about the situation with. I had to work yesterday and this librarian I really like was there. She's an older lady who's extremely easy-going, and I've gotten to know her quite well since we both work at night. There was this weird moment I had last night while looking at the mirror after washing my face: I just looked and thought "Hmm... I'm not THAT bad." I'm really not. I have lots going for me, some staring me right at the face, some things I need so seek out and discover... 08:18 - July 26, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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