lvrebelman's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorting Room What is it about me that gay guys don't like? 1. My tendency to be clingy? No. I've fixed that, excessively. Passive is the name of the game for me now. I just sit and wait. After a month I'll make one attempt to contact someone. If it's someone I know well enough, I'll try once every couple of weeks. 2. My Weight? I'm not thin, I know it, and I make it known. While I've only had people tell me directly a handful of times, I can't help but think of the numerous examples I've seen where guys will turn their heads away... 3. A lack of confidence? I actually am pretty optimistic whenever I throw myself in a social situation where I'm around gay guys. I just be myself, I mingle, I talk about my interests, but I don't know what happens and I leave without a single person wanting to spend time with me. 4. Too different? I have experienced situations where I just stop and think, "It didn't work out because we're too different." Well, at least that was the case with my roommates in the dorms. I do possess a few characteristics that people consider to be not typical in a gay man. Is that what it is? I really, really want answers. I don't expect anyone to actually give me any, after all most (if not all) the people who still read this thing don't know me in person. I am fucking sick of feeling lonely in this manner, I don't know what else to do... btw, I feel bad for writing about this topic for the billionth time, but once in a while I wake up and realize that I have these feelings bubbling up inside me, after trying my hardest not to face them. I'm sorry. 19:55 - July 14, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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