lvrebelman's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Putting things in storage lol, I feel like I'm betraying my LJ friends. as I don't really feel like writing there tonight. It would be cool if I could make peace with everyone and everything that has consumed my thoughts to the point of depression or regret. Everything has run its course through my head, I've done all I can except for shaking people's hands and saying something like: I took what happened so personally and I spent many an hour living my life thinking what I could have done differently. I apologize if you too took things I did personally, it's just the person I am. I do get attached to people, I can be naive, I make assumptions, and I am as flawed as anyone else in this world. After so long, I am able to just think about it once more, turn my head and say "This is in the past, I can let it go without emotional strings, Instead, I can learn from it." If you'd like to change things between us, great. If not, then leaving things as they are is fine too. Good luck. Gosh, powerful stuff, at least to me. Those words can be applied to so many people, even my parents. The last time I was in therapy (Feb-June), I was still talking about 2002, the year a lot of things happened: my attempts at meeting/getting to know gay guys, my roommates, my mom's deteriorating condition at the time, and its long-term effects on me. It was fucking two years ago! I've retained a lot of it, the weekend of crying over something quite normal is still vivid, as is the e-mail I got from someone warning me of the consequences of sleeping with a coworker which offended me. I can laugh at some of it, such as the month I could only stomach one meal a day over a boy. *laughs profusely* I think now I can start putting these things away.... 23:42 - July 10, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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